They are usually foreign men who come over for a holiday and may have a boyfriend in New York and want to keep their visit secret. Lots of the foreign clients prefer to book me up in advance. I had an e-mail this month from a foreign man who is visiting London in May. But it's impossible to know what I'm going to be doing in May.
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My rule is that if I'm asleep then I won't pick up the phone no matter what the work is. I get enough money working the hours I do now. Female prostitutes get paid even more. One of my girlfriends gets twice what I get and the idea that somehow the pink pound is big money is not always the case. I've met clients at all the big London hotels, the Savoy, Hilton and the Sanderson. You have to know how to carry yourself when you walk past reception otherwise they simply won't let you in.
Some of the hotels have key-coded lifts which won't work without one and that can be difficult. To be honest I would rather use a cheap motel - it's far less hassle. We get paid good money and I get to meet many wonderful and interesting clients. At the moment I want to work in PR but I am finding it hard to give up the escort job - the money is just too good. We have changed the surname of Erin Smith to protect his identity. He was talking to Robert Verkaik. Mark Oaten won't be the last, and sexual self-destruction is not confined to the Liberal Democrats - or to politics.
We are not talking serious crimes here; we are almost solely preoccupied with the shocking difference between the way men present themselves externally and what they are like on the inside. So; what is the attraction of sexual self-destruction? The answer is that men not only seek a shag, but they want sex with someone who at the very least is guaranteed not to criticise them.
They may admit to being lonely and frustrated, but nearly all of them are looking for a certain quality of experience. Prostitutes uniformly report today that many clients would rather talk than perform a sex act.
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Ironically, the modern prostitute's top-selling product is now called the GFE - the "girlfriend experience". Its principal attractions include "cuddling" and "deep French kissing". But, fake love aside, commercial sex also sells on risk. High adrenalin turns men on. Studies confirm that, in general, more men than women enjoy fast cars, extreme sports and high-stakes gambling. In the sexual world, more men seek multiple partners, have affairs, enjoy sexual deviations and patronise prostitutes than women.
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As men enter their mid-life zone, with waning testosterone levels and more fragile sexual responses, they tend to seek out increasingly extreme sexual experiences. There's even a reported association between experimenting with first or renewed homosexual experience after the death of a man's father. But sex with other men is not just about homosexuality. Many gay men would not allow Michael Portillo to share the badge of gay identity just because he admitted to certain youthful adventures: "It's rather more difficult to be gay than that," is the view.
There are at least three hidden factors to consider before you label anyone. First, although roughly 3 per cent of the population is mainly homosexual, there is a far larger group who have had some same-sex experience and who, at different times of life, will have rather more.
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Second, environments we might call "homosexually conducive" - boarding school, prison, service in Her Majesty's forces - affect men who still call themselves heterosexual. For instance, prisoners who freely sleep with cellmates wouldn't look at another man after being released. Third, society legitimises gay sex, not just via legal reforms but in broad, subtle ways, even down to the hints in contemporary pornography. In the recent issue of Desire magazine No 34 , there is a phone-sex advert on page reading: "Straight men do have sex with other men, go on slide your hand And, going back to risk, men are less attracted to the all-male content of a Mark Oaten-type encounter than to its taboo-breaking intensity.
Finally, there is the role of the unconscious mind in these destructive unmaskings. For many husbands, particularly in middle age, there is a quiet, unexplained desperation to escape a pattern of life. Perhaps their career no longer fits them, but they cannot easily think of sloughing off its constricting skin. Part of them wants to play; part seeks attention; part wants to drop out; part wants to be young again; part wants to be mothered; part wants to be an artist; part wants to retire - but none of these is considered "rational".
Instead, they get themselves into a horrible public pickle - rather like an ex-Director of Public Prosecutions, Sir Allan Green, who of all people was caught kerb-crawling in the early s, or Hugh Grant, who invited a hooker into his car. Or like Mark Oaten. Their tragedy is that secretly they must have wanted to be caught. Phillip Hodson is a Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, and the author of "Men: an investigation into the emotional male". You can find our Community Guidelines in full here.
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